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July 1, 2002
Skye: Hey.
Alan: Hey.
Skye: Your call sounded urgent. Is something wrong?
Alan: [pointing] Him.
Skye: You said there was an emergency.
Alan: [nodding] He's it.
Skye: Who?
Alan: Him. Look at her, mooning over him like some ridiculous teenager with overactive hormones. I mean, how unattractive is that?
Skye: Well, obviously, he disagrees. Does this person have a name?
Alan: Rick Webber.
Skye: Oh. I see. And who the heck is Rick Webber?
Alan: That's a long story. Suffice it to say that I thought that he was AJ's father the first year that little boy was alive. The reason was that Monica was head over heels in love with him. I'm telling you, that man came closer to taking her away from me than anybody ever has.
Skye: Get out. She had an affair with him?
Alan: Made me so angry, I wanted to kill the both of them.
Skye: Ooh, wait. Of course. The infamous Rick Webber. The guy you tried to drop a roof on. Well, he certainly is good-looking, isn't he? I mean, you know, if you like that type.
Alan: Look at her, gushing at her age. It's disgusting.
Skye: I have to admit this is all very fascinating, but what is he doing in town anyway?
Alan: Ostensibly, for Luke and Laura's wedding, but I think that snake has another agenda, and I need you to block it.
Skye: Oh. Well, I don't know what to say. This is the first time you ever actually asked for my help.
Alan: Well, this is the first time I've ever been desperate enough to need it.
Skye: I'll try not to be overwhelmed, thank you.
Alan: Thanks. So are you going to help me or not?
Skye: I'd love to. I just don't know what I could possibly do to keep Monica from flirting with her old lover.
Alan: Well, I will handle Monica. I need you to handle this on the professional front. I mean, it's bad enough the guy's trying to steal my wife, he's trying to steal my job.
Skye: How would he be able to do that?
Alan: He is the head of the Doctor's Consortium that wants to buy out General Hospital.
Skye: Wow. That's big.
Alan: I'm not going to let him get away with it.
Skye: I don't know how I can help. I'm not even a member of the board.
Alan: You are now.
Skye: That's fast.
Alan: Of course it's fast. That's why I needed you down here right away. I was hoping that we could strategize for the rest of the night.
[Edward's listening in]
Skye: Oh, Dad, um, I'm sorry, but I'm actually, I'm headed to Paris tonight.
Alan: Paris?
Skye: Yeah. I have an emergency of my own to resolve.
Skye: What do you mean I can't have the jet? I need to leave tonight. Hey, hey, I'm a Quartermaine! I should be able to take possession of that jet whenever I want to!
Edward: Arguing with the pilot won't help. The ELQ jet doesn't leave the ground without my permission.
Skye: Fine. [hanging up] I'll fly commercial.
Edward: You hate commercial. It's inconvenient and it's uncomfortable and it's very time-consuming.
Skye: Well, it beats walking and it certainly beats standing here talking to you.
Edward: Oh, no, no, no, no. Why don't you just, here, have a chair, dear. Just sit down. And Paris is a hell of a long way to go, and for what? To smash some crystal against the walls of Jax's suite, and call Jax's French lover some American names that are ugly? Is that the impression you want to make, that of a cliched jilted lover? It's so unworthy of you, Skye. And, have you even thought, five minutes beyond the anticipation of your emotional tirade, that you just might discover Jax consumed in a search for Brenda? Hmm?
Skye: How did she get into this?
Edward: The last time that Jax flew off to Paris, it was poor Chloe that was left high and dry. Then he was just following a lead to try to find Brenda. Restraint is not only appropriate in this situation, it is mandatory. Don't help Jax humiliate you.
Skye: Oh, I'm not the one who's going to be humiliated, Grandfather. I happen to enjoy smashing crystal and I'm quite good at it.
Edward: What then? He throws you out and he calls housekeeping and they come in and clean up the mess and he avoids you like the plague? If it were I who had been played for a fool, I would make sure that my revenge meant something. Don't you want to get even, or do you like just feeling wretched?
Skye: Why do you want to help me get back at Jax? Because you love me with all of your heart? Because I'm the great God-given comfort of your golden years?
Edward: No. I don't even like you very much. But I'm a realist, and who else do I have? Alan would much rather run a medical bureaucracy than the empire that I built. AJ's a fool, always has been. Oh, and now he is disastrously enthralled with Sonny's sister. And Jason, Jason was my family's best and brightest, uh-huh, but he's lost to us. Bonded like brothers with that local crime lord who has as his life's mission, keeping me away from my only little great-grandson. So as much as it pains me to admit it, at the end of the day I realized that you are the only shot I have if I'm going to leave any kind of a legacy.
Skye: What do you want from me?
Edward: I want Jax's head on a platter, and I want his empire in my hip pocket. And for you, I would like to have his heart on a stick roasting over a flame. Now, I could, I could ruin him, you know, by myself, and I will if I have to, but I could do it more quickly with an accomplice.
Skye: By "accomplice" you mean you want me to keep Jax distracted by continuing to sleep with him?!
Edward: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I, I don't want to rock...
Skye: Do you ever get tired of pimping me out?!
Edward: Oh, please, please, please. Let's not revisit that old territory. Besides, it's not asking you to do something torturous or something you haven't done willingly before. Besides, you will be rewarded amply for your time and your effort.
Skye: How amply?
Edward: Like I promised. I'll reinstate you as CEO of ELQ.
Skye: I think I'd much rather see the look on Jax's face when I crash his Paris hideaway. My old job isn't worth missing that particular moment.
Edward: Then what would be?
Skye: There's not a job in this world that can make me want to crawl back into Jax's bed.
Edward: Well, then let's talk about the immediate future. Now, at the present time you are careerless, and that's not a state that you're acquainted with. You have no firsthand experience with the crashing boredom of the unemployed, the tedious days, the ennui. Not to mention the financial constraints.
Driver: Should I park the car, Ms. Quartermaine?
Skye: No. We're leaving. Good night, Grandfather. It's been mildly entertaining. [to the driver] Oh. You know what? I'll meet you out front.
Edward: I knew you were too smart to pass up my offer. So, do we have a deal?
Skye: No. But we could get there on my terms, which you should know straight out are nonnegotiable. You will treat me with respect. Never again will you refer to my being cunning with any negative connotation. My cunning is the reason you need me. Never again will you forget that I am the missing piece to the puzzle, the granddaughter with the same ruthless qualities you embody so well. You are lucky to have me and you are going to start acting like it.
Edward: Well. You drive a hard bargain. But I'll agree to your conditions.
Skye: Oh, no, I'm not done. Sit. That was just me setting the stage for a peaceful working environment which I must insist on.
Edward: I have offered you your job back, but all right. I see no problem in working out a way that we can mutually co-exist.
Skye: Excellent. You're doing great so far, Grandfather. Here's the real tester. See, not only do I want my job back, but I want controlling interest in ELQ. And I want your will to be changed so that it reflects me as the sole heir.
Edward: Oh, God, that's preposterous! No, no!
Skye: Those are my conditions, Edward. Nothing less would make it worth my while to continue sleeping with a man that I despise.
Edward: "Sole heir"?! How would I explain that?
Skye: You don't have to, at least not face to face. Make a video. Then when you croak, I'll play it for everybody. I certainly would love to see the looks on all their faces. That pack of losers doesn't deserve any better, do they?
Edward: Hmm. Well, you have a point. I'd like to see that myself.
Skye: So, what's it going to be, Grandfather? How badly do you want to take Jax down? Really makes no difference to me.
Edward: All right, you have yourself a deal.
[he offers his hand]
Skye: Uh-uh. I want it in writing, notarized, with copies for attorneys.
 Jax: Skye?
Skye: Your call. Do I greet him with a kiss or slap his two-timing face? Final offer, Grandfather.
Edward: The contract will be ready for your signature at 10am sharp.
Skye: [to Jax] You're back!
Jax: Surprise.
Skye: Oh! I missed you. How was Sydney?
Jax: It was lonely without you.
[they dance]
Singer: I've been holding out so long, I've been sleeping all alone, cause I miss you. I've been hanging on the phone, I've been sleeping all-alone, I won't kiss you. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
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